| “I Choose To Stay” © Copyright May 21, 2007 By Dana Shino, The Purple Phoenix, LLC www.thepurplephoenix.com I set the teacup I had held (so long) at the base of the lamplight and turned to join myself in the river of my life: At the edge of memory when I flew the winds of birth and ‘sook the ever after knowledge for the now I trusted you, a seventh time in the limelight of my life. For this seventh time, I trusted you. I was less than two feet tall when your anger smashed a plate then me and then the wall. I was less than two feet tall when my little body froze in horror – In the moments your eyes locked mine I split along the hairline of my soul and let my Great Spirit fly to the halls of never more Where I wrote a thousand poems home to the little girl inside wrote a thousand soul poems home as I silently, slowly died. Where did I go? And where the hell were you? Why did we abandon this bloody ship? There was only ever more your silent secret seething anger your ever present judging lack of love. This, all in the seventh time I trusted. I lived on in school and college and a marriage and a job, my forgotten Sacred Spirit always writing a thousand poems home. But the babies never came and the home was never bought and all I could quite manage was to live inside this displaced empty box, Until, I no longer could ignore the sacred words my Soul wrote to me and the way it kept painting quilted colors across the memory of my true self. And just when I couldn’t stand the thought of living one more day I smashed the box to hell and started over. Funny, this merry-go-round of life has brought me once again where I am less than two feet tall and locked within your angry glare. I have come back to the split and this time choose to stay kicking out the bloody implants with the courage of a seven lives. I am reaching through the years, like it happened yesterday to touch us all like stars within the grasp of our night sky Because it was only yesterday and the star is in my hand and I am reaching through and holding all with love this time. I am reaching through and holding me and holding you and holding Aaron with my love this seventh time. I am holding love, for me my Soul, my love this seventh time. |
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